I spent my second-to-the-last duty day here in EAMC in only two places.
1) I was in the OR, pulled out early in our shift for a tahbso for a veeery large ONG, in which three residnts and an SI were present, thereby making me 5th in line and essentially worthless in the procedure, except when the specimens had to be processed at the end of the procedure.
2) shortly after a meeting called by dr. PLD for interns, i was pulled out to the bedside of a possibly toxic patient for close monitoring. Lo and behold, when we got to the room, the patient has already coded and people were scrambling about in the attempt of reviving the patient. They eventually succeeded, and I was tasked thereafter to monitor the patient’s vital signs every 15 minutes. Little did I know, during that code, I had missed the meeting dr. PLD called for us clerks. What luck. XD
I was replaced by my colleague around 6 hours later so that I could eat late lunch at around 8pm. After eating my first meal in the last 12 hrs, I went back in the DR and was again pulled out to babysit a frank breech for CS, with explicit instructions to monitor FHTs every 15 minutes, with only my steth! I nearly died (of my own incompetence). Luckily, a cute anesth intern helped me find the darned heart tones (which I didn’t really get to hear). Eventually some residents came in and urged me to get a doppler instead. Thank goodness. UNFORTUNATELY, my colleagues wanted to switch places with me so they could assist in that CS. Boo. Didn’t get to know cute intern because of that. Tsk! XD
ANYWAY. So I had to go back to my toxic patient in the ward at around 11pm. And here I am, 8 hours later, still at her side.

Frankly, I’m a bit annoyed at how this day turned out, because I really wanted to spend it in the DR, learning how to deliver babies and suture lacerations. I also wouldn’t have minded spending some time chitchatting with cute, hopefully straight anesth intern. BUT NO. I spent a total of 14 hours at the bedside of a toxic patient. Not the most glamorous job in the world. Just constantly searching for the evasive BP which I never really figured out until around 3Am when I realized her BP was actually HIGH instead of low.
Plus, I now also know how to get the BP using the popliteal artery (which a medicine resident(?) had to point out to me, embarrassing).

VS aside, some other things I got out of today:
1) My forearm muscles are now stronger from ambubagging non-stop for maybe about an hour because the nurse-in-charge had meds and charts to do. And I didn’t get mad or cranky! And I resisted the urge to throw a tantrum. Achieve!
2) i had a glimpse of what neuro comatose patients look like. Dilated pupils and decerebrate posturing!
3) i got to sit for most of the day, so my legs and feet weren’t as sore as other duty days.
4) i witnessed the kindness of people. The relatives of my toxic patient offered me coffee and soup to help me get through the night. It did. :)

8AM, May 28, 2013

Thanks for all the things you’ve shared with me—the knowledge, the stories, the free drinks.. i truly appreciate them. Sometimes they make me feel special in little ways, and for that I am grateful. I wish it were more than what it really is, but then I guess some things just really aren’t meant to be. I realized we probably wouldn’t be as happy with each other as we’d like to be. So I guess that’s that. But at the end of the day, I’m still thankful for meeting you and for getting to know you in this short span of time we were given. I do hope you’ve become a better person too.

I appreciate the things you say to me, even if half of them is to make fun of me. I appreciate the things you do for me because most people won’t make the effort to do those things for someone like me. Maybe you’re just too nice, a natural flirt, i don’t know. It’s just that you notice the littlest things and you do these things and it’s confusing and it’s torturing me. (Or maybe I just read too much into things. XD)

It’s just that you remind me of Master J, and maybe subconsciously I want you to replace what he represents for me. Maybe nothing special in the classic sense, but special enough. I don’t look for too much. I felt special for the simplest, most childish reasons, and that was enough.

Maybe I should just get back to the fault finding and get this over with. I’ll let you get back to the R-18 flirting you were doing. Maybe someone like you will only get me in trouble.

It reminded me of what is fondly called 7 minutes of heaven, but calling it that would mislead most. 

It was nice that you closed the door, leaving just the two of us inside, and keeping away prying eyes. I’m not really used to being alone in a room with a person I barely know. But you make me feel comfortable. You’re not some snobbish guy with an inflated ego like I’d expect people of your caliber. You seem equally comfortable around me, being able to make fun of me like we’ve been friends for more than two weeks.

I know you’re like this with everyone (which makes me feel a liiiiittle bit sad, because I wanted to feel special), but just the reality of being friends, even just for this month, is good enough for me, I guess.

I wish we had more than a month. I wish I had more of your attention. CHAROT. Dehehe. Nah, you’re not the type to go for the likes of me. I wish you were, but you’re probably not soooo. This is still nice. Could’ve been better, but nice is good enough.

They always look like the type to go after really good looking women. Sucks sometimes. How about an eccentric one, for a change? Please, Universe? XD

(OOOOR how about someone with the same personal space issues, so we can get along really well :)))